Parents in Transition

Are you feeling stuck, confused or disconnected?  Are you in transition?

Sometimes you might be shocked to hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you discipline your children.  You never wanted to be the kind of parent your parents were.  Now you feel confused and stuck.  When your kids act up, you don’t know what to do.  You have found yourself self-critical and sometimes even hating yourself for not knowing how to be a better parent.  Working with me, you will face the legacy of how you were parented.  You will learn new skills and implement them with a safe support system.  You can be happy to feel love for your children, and yourself, again. 

There are times as parents when we must face things that are frightening or confusing to us.  Maybe you found out that your son likes to wear girl’s clothes or that your daughter is dating someone much older than she is.  Maybe you’re afraid you have lost them.  You don’t know what to do or how to talk to your son or daughter.  You’re feeling freaked out and afraid about what led them to this behavior.  I can help you to separate your own reactions from your responsibilities as a parent.  I will help you face your fears and name your concerns.  In therapy, you can find the well of unconditional love you hold for your child.  You will learn new tools to talk to your child and to support him/her through this difficult time.  Through it all, you can feel steady and clear about what are your concerns and choices and what are your child’s. 

 

I work with parents to understand their own parenting values and choices.  Sometimes it is necessary to separate your parenting legacy from your parenting choices.  Together we look at the relationship that exists between the parent and the child and the one that exists between the parents and their parents.   I work with parents to ground them in the essential relationship of parenting children, young or teens, through the difficult times as well as the good times.

I am steeped in positive discipline – it’s a life style not just a parenting style.  This perspective shapes my work around parenting. It shaped my life around my ability to parent my son.  In my talks with him I focus on what I do want, what I do expect rather than what not to do.

We’re all always learning – making mistakes –what matters is what we do with them and how can we use that and do it differently next time.   If kids are acting out it is important to figure out what they are really after and how you can help them get that instead of punishing them for the acting out.

Throughout our work together you will learn tools to use that will help you be a better parent.  You will be empowered to give your child essential gifts that will last throughout their lives:  a sense of belonging, self-discipline, acceptance of responsibility, cooperation and problem solving skills.  In turn, this will lead to better relationships with the kids and family as a whole.  The whole family unit will find a better quality of life.

 

Every day you spend with your children you are teaching them.  If you’re not sure they are learning what they need to be learning, call me to start your journey to confident parenting.  Call me at (707) 569-0459 or fill in the email form on my contact page.