Couples In Transition

Are you feeling stuck, confused or disconnected?  Are you in transition?

Perhaps you’re been in a relationship for a number of years and lately you find yourselves having the same fights over and over again.  You haven’t been spending much time together and you can’t remember when you last had fun together.  One of you suggests that maybe your relationship has run its course.  You remember that you once loved each other and maybe you should try therapy before you make such a big decision.  With my help, you can start telling each other some of the sweet things and  hard things that neither one of you had the courage to say on your own.  You both may be pleased and relieved to learn that you both want to work through the issues now that they’re on the table.  I can help you find the road back to a secure connection with one another so that you can each get your needs met and refind the love and the fun in your relationship.

Or maybe you have just hit a big bump in your relationship.  Maybe one of you has become addicted to on-line porn.  Maybe you feel no desire for your partner anymore.  You might be afraid that you will never recover a healthy relationship.  In our work together, you can take steps to reconnect to yourself and your partner.  One of you might have hurt and anger that needs to be expressed.  With the skills you learn in therapy, you can find a way to talk more openly and directly.  In time, you might find yourself in a stronger relationship than before you hit the big bump. 

When couples come to me, I work with them where they are and help them figure out where they want to go.  I help them speak their current truth to each other.

A lot of times the stuff that we grew up with – the stuff that happened in our lives as kids –has a big influence on our life right now.  So when we look across the table at our partner we don’t realize that we’re looking at our parent or our sibling.  We respond as if our parent said something.  A lot of my work is about helping my clients live in the present moment.

Often when we get frustrated in our relationships, we get into blaming mode.  We ask ourselves who’s at fault and we usually decide it’s our partner.  Then it seems like our only option is to leave.  So in therapy, we look at what your options are.  It’s limiting when we think that our only option is leaving; it is a choice but it’s not your only choice.  I help couples look at the real deeper issues that are present and help them to address those issues.

 

Call me and let’s talk about what’s happening in your relationship and how therapy can help you move forward.  I can be reached at (707) 569-0459.